for dreamers, for seekers, for all of us who want a life
of meaning, freedom and contentment.

- Becky Vollmer

Sometimes We’re Fabulous, Sometimes We’re Not Even Close to Fine

August 12, 2016

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Sad to say but undeniably true: We do not wake up each morning feeling terrific. Sure, some days we do and we are rarin’ to go and those days are FABULOUS! But other days we may start with a baseline of sadness, or fear, or brokenheartedness, or doubt, or despair. Or wishing things were different, or the way they used to be, or the way we *thought* they’d be by now. Or we wake with a migraine, or PMS, or crippling anxiety, or even just an old-fashioned bad attitude.

And on those days when we know our head space isn’t all that pretty, or that we’re not at our best, it’s okay to admit it. Talk about it. And talk about why.

13906960_638546306319678_3832023001004877900_nImagine trying to throw some mascara and lipstick on this half dead flower and throwing it back out into the heat. Think it would thrive without anyone noticing that it’s not well? Ummm, no. No freaking way.

And yet we force ourselves there, into that impossible space, trying to pretend that nothing’s wrong, that we got it, that we’re fine. But, as you well know: SOMETIMES WE’RE NOT FINE. 

I’m feeling great today, but I spent plenty of mornings standing in front of my fridge, eating ice cream out of the container – with coat on and bag over shoulder and car keys in hand – because I didn’t want to go to a work I was drowning in. Or stuck in bed with covers over head unable to stop crying. Or locked in the bathroom at a good friend’s party, bawling and scared, because an inexplicable anxiety rooted me there. Or constantly ready for the next glass of wine, to soothe something I didn’t even realize needed soothing.

To have those moments and still profess to be okay is like walking around with an arrow shot through your head but claiming to be fine – even though everyone can see beyond clearly what you refuse to admit: YOU’RE NOT FINE.

It is not a sign of weakness to reveal your humanity and ask for help when you need it. On the contrary. It is NOBLE. It is BRAVE. And, sometimes, it is LIFE-SAVING. Please don’t ignore the signs of suffering. Don’t ignore yourself. Be loving enough to acknowledge your pain… and brave enough to do something about it.

Because you are not stuck.

I love you.

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  • Krsna-Kumari Devi-Dasi

    Found you through Simple Reminders. Laughed and cried through this post. Just great! I just moved back to the States from 20 years in India where I felt I had to always look FINE. I am just now getting used to being real me instead of cosmetic me. Thanks for affirming what I felt. You put it visually. That’s what I needed to hear. Sometimes we don’t open up and show the lining because we don’t want it to be hung out do dry all over the planet!

    • Becky Vollmer

      So glad you — the real you! — are here!

You Are Not Stuck

I’m Becky Vollmer – writer, speaker, yoga teacher, seeker. I’m also living proof that, despite feeling otherwise, we are not stuck in circumstances and patterns that neither serve nor define us. We are lucky to have choices; we just have to be brave enough to make them.

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